Yet again, welcome to the
short, practical Lelamed Weekly Dvar...
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Parshat Chaye Sarah records two major transactions, which begs us
to wonder about their connection. The Parsha starts with Avraham
insisting on paying for his plot of land in which to bury his
wife. After much negotiating, Efron agrees to accept payment for
the plot. The Parsha then goes into even greater detail describing
the efforts of Avraham's servant in finding a suitable wife for
Yitzchak, his son. What's the connection, other than then
technically both being "transactions"?
One possibility is that the dialog of the first transaction could
be the requisite to the completion of the second! In other words,
Avraham had to understand and negotiate a FAIR transaction where
both sides benefit before he could find a wife for his son. This
requirement says a lot about what it takes to find a suitable
mate: Give! If you find yourself taking more than you're giving in
a given relationship, you need to insist on adjusting it! If any
marriage is to work, the first ingredient is mutual respect, which
breeds mutual giving. It is this fact that Avraham mastered before
venturing to find his son a wife, and it's this lesson that we
should master before venturing to find our own mates.